How to Avoid Sibling Rivalry?

Rivalry between siblings depends  mostly on the personalities of the kids and partly on your parenting style. Although rivalry depends on their personalities I would be concentrating more on parenting style in this post. That's because it is easier to control our moves rather than their personalities.

Tips to Avoid Sibling rivalry:

1. Treat them as a group:
   1. Punish them equally if required: It is better to live them alone to solve their problems if they can. If you have to intervene, then DONOT take sides, punish them equally for their behavior even if you know that one of them is wrong. If you take sides you will sow a seed of hatred in their hearts.
      

      
      

Advantages:

1. They would try to solve their problem on their own rather than getting punished.
2. They would also encourage their sibling's good behavior in order to avoid getting punished.
3. They would work as a team to solve problems rather than fight to get their way.

2. Encourage them to help each other: Allow them to help each other in certain tasks like wearing clothes, searching their sibling's things, serving food for each other etc. For eg: My daughter(4 years old) helps my son( 2 years) to wear his clothes. My son accompanies my daughter when she has to go to a dark room lol. My daughter is scared of darkness and she needs a man to accompany her you know. :)
   

   

Advantages:

1. It creates a strong bonding between them.
2. They know that they have their sibling to ask for help and he/she is not his/her enemy.

3. Encourage them to understand each others likes and dislikes: Make them aware of each others likes and dislikes. My daughter likes salted snacks and my son likes chocolates, so when ever my son gives me a salted snack which he doesn't like I encourage him to give it to my daughter, so this makes him aware of her likes.
   

   

Advantages:

1. They see to it that their siblings get what they want when they are out for eg in a party, my daughter would save chocolates to give it to her brother. This again strengthens their relationship.

4. Encourage them to share: Let them eat from the same plate and drink from the same glass. This creates love between them. Help them to share toys for example when they fight for a toy in the kitchen set divert them by asking one of them to get you some tea and the other to get you some snack, this would again encourage them to play together. Also if possible reward them when they share their favorite stuffs. Make it very clear that there is nothing yours or mine in the house, everything is ours.

Advantages:

1. They would learn to co-operate and share with people as they grow.
   
   
   2.  Pray or Dua to reduce Sibling Rivalry:

Even after all your hard work you might not be able to reduce the rivalry between the kids, in that case or even otherwise prayers really work. Pray to Allah to create a strong bonding and love between them.

Here is a dua which I do when I feel that things are going out of control:

Recite Ya Rauf Ya Allah 70 times along with 10 duroods in the beginning and 10 at the end and blow on your kids.