Just for Today

I am going to reveal one of my secrets in this post. It is a poem/set of things to do in a day by Kenneth-L-Homes. I found this poem from a magazine called competition success review when I was around 13 years old. Ever since then I have cherished it. Although I don't read it or follow it everyday, it has been very useful during my difficult times. The lines in red is the actual poem and the once in blue are my views and experience with it.

Just for today, I will try to live through this day only,
and not tackle my whole life problem
at once. I can do something for twelve hours
that would appall me if I felt that I had to
keep it up for a lifetime.

“ Most of the time we fail to understand/realize that all the problems in life no matter how big it is, gets solved with time. If you think back about the problems which were bothering you few years back, you will realize that they don't exist any more or they are of no value today"

Just for today, I will be happy. This assumes to
be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that
"most folks are as happy as they make up
their minds to be."

“Truly said, happiness lies within ourselves.”

Just for today, I will try to strengthen my mind.
I will study. I will learn something useful.
I will not be a mental loafer. I will read
something that requires effort, thought and
concentration.

“Being a stay at home mom for around 5 years now, this part of the poem has really helped me grow within the four walls of my home. Reading books, surfing the Internet, learning new stuffs has been always been a part of my life. I feel more confident and useful despite of being with in the boundaries of my house. Knowledge is strength, the more you learn the stronger you get.” 

Just for today, I will adjust myself to what is,
and not try to adjust everything to my own
desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes,
and fit myself to it.

“It is easy to change ourselves than others.”

Just for today, I will exercise my soul in three
ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and
not get found out. I will do at least two
things I don't want to--just for exercise.
I will not show anyone that my feelings are
hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not
show it

“I always find it very difficult to find two things that I don't like :). Hiding hurt feelings helps you forget that you are hurt.”

Just for today, I will be agreeable. I will look
as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low,
act courteously, criticize not one bit, not
find fault with anything and not try to improve
or regulate anybody except myself.

“Good looks keeps confidence high.”

Just for today, I will have a program. I may not
follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will
save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

“Very true, things get done much before the expected time if you have scheduled them wisely.” 

Just for today, I will have a quiet half hour all
by myself, and relax. During this half hour,
sometime, I will try to get a better perspective
of my life.

“Helps in gaining peace of mind.”

Just for today, I will be unafraid. Especially I
will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful,
and to believe that as I give to the world, so
the world will give to me.

“Fear reduces your productivity."

 -Kenneth L. Holmes

                                                                                                    - Umm Aaminah :P

The two things that You should never let your kids learn

When it comes to academics there are these two myths which are always taught to kids from a very young age in almost all the educational institutes. I am not even sure if they are myths or lies or may be one is a lie and the other is a myth. What ever they may be I remember believing in them and even supporting them. I do not want my kids to get deceived like how I was.

Now coming to the point, the two things I am talking about are:

1. The Darwin's theory and
2. Over Population

The theory that we were evolved from an ape is just a theory and not a fact but yet it is thought as a fact in the schools. You need to teach your kids that it is an impossible phenomenon, every creation is unique and nothing was evolved from the other. If evolution was true then why there was no evolution in the recorded history of the past 6000-8000 years? Evolution is a process according to the theory then why did it stop for so long? If it takes really long for evolution then we should have been able to see at least a trace of it, if fishes evolve into birds then we should have been able to record at least one fish which got at least one wing? What do you say? I personally think that this is a lie that was spread and not a theory. A lie to support Atheism. Just think about it. You don't want your kids to be atheist do you? If you want them to be one, then you can help them by just sending them to a school next door.

The country I come from is one of the most populous countries in the world, so from a very young age I was thought that the world is overpopulated and we need to take strict measurements to keep our population under check or else there would be scarcity in food, water etc. As a child I used to get very angry when I saw people with more than 2 kids for being so irresponsible citizens. I remember that in my generation there were hardly any friends who had more than one sibling I too belonged to the same category. I don't have more than two cousins from each pair of my uncles and Aunts. It was a trend to have 2 kids per family anything more was a big no no. But today when I look into our lives there is a void that cannot be filled. I wish I had more siblings to share with. All these parents now in their 40's – 50's are alone at their homes having nothing much to do in contrast to my grandma(birthed 9 kids) who is in her late 80's still has her kids with her. These parents even mentioned to me about their regrets for having taken such a decision. Its really sad to see the after effects when its too late to rectify anything. Yet, we get to learn from the past people's mistakes. We have better choices to make, Insha Allah.

By the way, your next concern would be about the increasing population, right? For your information, population explosion is a myth. You can do some research on it if you want and please do have a look at the video below, everything is well explained in it. Human beings are the greatest resources, by reducing them we are reducing our resources. Please start using your brains before it is too late.

How to Avoid Sibling Rivalry?

Rivalry between siblings depends  mostly on the personalities of the kids and partly on your parenting style. Although rivalry depends on their personalities I would be concentrating more on parenting style in this post. That's because it is easier to control our moves rather than their personalities.

Tips to Avoid Sibling rivalry:

1. Treat them as a group:
   1. Punish them equally if required: It is better to live them alone to solve their problems if they can. If you have to intervene, then DONOT take sides, punish them equally for their behavior even if you know that one of them is wrong. If you take sides you will sow a seed of hatred in their hearts.
      

      
      

Advantages:

1. They would try to solve their problem on their own rather than getting punished.
2. They would also encourage their sibling's good behavior in order to avoid getting punished.
3. They would work as a team to solve problems rather than fight to get their way.

2. Encourage them to help each other: Allow them to help each other in certain tasks like wearing clothes, searching their sibling's things, serving food for each other etc. For eg: My daughter(4 years old) helps my son( 2 years) to wear his clothes. My son accompanies my daughter when she has to go to a dark room lol. My daughter is scared of darkness and she needs a man to accompany her you know. :)
   

   

Advantages:

1. It creates a strong bonding between them.
2. They know that they have their sibling to ask for help and he/she is not his/her enemy.

3. Encourage them to understand each others likes and dislikes: Make them aware of each others likes and dislikes. My daughter likes salted snacks and my son likes chocolates, so when ever my son gives me a salted snack which he doesn't like I encourage him to give it to my daughter, so this makes him aware of her likes.
   

   

Advantages:

1. They see to it that their siblings get what they want when they are out for eg in a party, my daughter would save chocolates to give it to her brother. This again strengthens their relationship.

4. Encourage them to share: Let them eat from the same plate and drink from the same glass. This creates love between them. Help them to share toys for example when they fight for a toy in the kitchen set divert them by asking one of them to get you some tea and the other to get you some snack, this would again encourage them to play together. Also if possible reward them when they share their favorite stuffs. Make it very clear that there is nothing yours or mine in the house, everything is ours.

Advantages:

1. They would learn to co-operate and share with people as they grow.
   
   
   2.  Pray or Dua to reduce Sibling Rivalry:

Even after all your hard work you might not be able to reduce the rivalry between the kids, in that case or even otherwise prayers really work. Pray to Allah to create a strong bonding and love between them.

Here is a dua which I do when I feel that things are going out of control:

Recite Ya Rauf Ya Allah 70 times along with 10 duroods in the beginning and 10 at the end and blow on your kids.